A Candid Update

I must come clean. I haven't been exactly forthcoming with you, my loyal readers. I have actually been on disability leave from work since early August - soon after I had the first reaction to the Nebulizer. The intent was to take a few months, get things normalized, put on some weight and strength, and get back to work around the first of next year.

Thus far, this has not happened.

Since my last post, things have been a bit rough. I had a bad bout with GI problems for about a month which exacerbated everything else - you can't heal if you aren't digesting your food. Pulmonary got worse, I lost a few more pounds (all of which seems to have been muscle mass), and all that together certainly hasn't helped my mental and psychological well-being.

I also kind of feel like I have lost my way. Not working is making me feel unproductive; although I have personal projects to work on, I am a bad procrastinator and waste a lot of time on useless crap from browsing the web to watching NCIS reruns to playing Spider Solitaire, obsessively undo-ing and re-attempting until I beat every game. Man I am neurotic. Also, as a result of the further weight loss and the requirement for supplemental oxygen, I haven't ridden my motorcycle in about a month.

There has been a glimmer of hope the last couple weeks though. I don't want to jinx it, but I can say I feel a bit better than a couple weeks ago. I saw a new pulmonologist at UCLA on the 6th who I really like. She's proactive and has some new ideas on both defeating my acute problems and managing my chronic condition. This has certainly improved my outlook, if nothing else.


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